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The Narcissist: Satire by Alex Gibbons

Narcissistic Tendencies – Guest Post

What does being a narcissist mean to me? Well, it sums me up. I love particular coffee and whiskey. It has to be served just correctly, or it won’t taste right to me. I have to have the finest clothes, made for me by the finest tailors in the land. I have to awake in a large king-size bed, with a supermodel next to me, or I don’t feel alive.

So am I a narcissist? I’d have to say definitely. I can’t stop myself from looking in a mirror. I look at my reflection and love what I see reflected back at me. Furthermore, I love to walk to my dressing room, and find the exact cuff links that will get people talking. As I walk out of my town house, dressed in a Tom Ford suit, and stroll down the street, I know that everyone is looking at me, and wants to sleep with me. I could have any of them right now! And that makes me smile.

I have arranged an evening with my favourite mistress. she owns Babylon Heights. I walked into her club, and she came straight over to me. I knew what I wanted and I knew I could get it. She smiled back at me, and we moved into her private room.

She was looking even better them me! I could feel her own version of narcissism coming off her. It was like an extra perfume. She got me to undress, then she picked up her favourite cane, and spanked me hard. Then, she chained me to the bed on my knees, so she could force a strap-on into me. Narcissism was coming off her in waves.

She loved me to tell her how good she looked, and how amazing she felt inside me. She wouldn’t cum unless I told her how great she was in bed. I told her this an awful lot, stroking her massive ego, until she did cum. I got re-dressed and as I left I hugged her and went on my way back into that dark night I had emerged from.

If people were to ask me what my feelings of narcissim were, then I would say, that it gives you the power to get whatever you want and to take it and use it and spit it out when you are done and move onto another day.

As I light the first cigarette of the night, I can not help thinking about the old myth of the emperor’s new clothes, and smiling and thinking how I will make more money tomorrow and find another person to screw over. This is the special power that narcissism will give you, it allows you to become a vulgar version of yourself that only sees things in pounds and pence.

I personally can’t stand these types of people, but I know I can easily full into this personality trait – the smug, arrogant person who loves himself and does not care about anything except where his new pair of shoes will come from. Just feeling like that makes me feel physically ill, but I know there are lots of humans out there who enjoy this free drug, and it makes me despair, and not know where to go in my life. But if I ever start doing it, please stop me, as a word of kindness will kill off this negativity, and will only lead to happier people…



Find Alex Gibbons on Medium or Twitter.

The Narcissist. Written for and hosted by the 4Thoughts meme prompt of Narcissism.

Header Image by Sammy-Williams from Pixabay