Who is Zara?
Hi, I’m Zara from the RisquéViews blog. I write about sex, my own experiences and thoughts as well as erotic fiction and sex toy reviews along with the occasional educational piece. I’ve had a bit of a blogging break but I have a plan for the future of my site which involves a lot more work for me. I think it will be much better as I will focus more on the reader and less on myself.
Anyway I was invited to host this week’s 4Thoughts or Fiction and I jumped at the opportunity.
I used to join in back when it was F4TFriday and have always enjoyed participating in the meme. It used to be more Q & A style. Now you have more freedom as a writer to interpret the prompts as you wish. Which is great and probably appeals to more writers. So I hope you like the topic for this week. I have chosen to bring up the elusive female orgasm and the “orgasm gap.” If you haven’t heard the term before it’s likely you have heard of the reality that it refers to. In our society between hetero men and women, men get to orgasm more proportionally.
This is a longer than normal prompt post but May and I feel the topic is worth discussing.
Prompt #174 ~ Orgasm Gap
Today’s prompt is based around a phenomenon that affects mostly cis male and cis female heterosexual couples. It’s an issue close to my heart as I experience this problem and as such, never orgasm without a powerful toy. I don’t want to make anyone feel left out so please join in the discussion even if you aren’t a cis straight person in a monogamous relationship – which I think makes up most of the people in these kinds of studies. I do want to note that I’m making an effort to work on my language, so it’s more inclusive, but in this particular instance the orgasm gap is a problem that seems to affect straight cis couples, I have used the appropriate terms – male and female.
I’ve read that orgasm rates among same sex lovers are much higher, which tells us something I think. What could that be?
Some references for you to take a look at if you needed any evidence of this problem:
- This study refers to the orgasm gap and discusses the reasons behind it.
- This study says is simply, “Studies have consistently found that there is a gendered orgasm gap, with men experiencing orgasm more frequently than women in heterosexual sexual encounters.” Read More…
- This Durex study from 2017 explores the orgasm gap to quote them “almost 75% of women in the Netherlands and Belgium do not orgasm during sex, whereas only 28% of men say they don’t always climax”
But enough from me. I want to hear your thoughts…
Given the large numbers of people affected by this orgasm inequality, I think there are many angles you could choose to take with this prompt.
Maybe you disagree? Maybe you totally agree, and have experience with this inequality? Perhaps you know from experience that the issue doesn’t affect same sex couples the way it seems to predominantly affect heterosexual male/female couples?
Please just write what feels right to you. It can be fiction or non-fiction, whatever you enjoy writing most. Here are a few things to consider:
1.Have you heard of the orgasm gap? Do you believe there is such a thing? If so what do you think the causes of this inequality may be?
2. Does the orgasm gap affect you? Do you find it hard to orgasm or to help your partner to?
3. Do you have to rely on sex toys to orgasm? What are your favourite toys to help you get there? Is masturbation without toys something you still do very often or have toys taken the place of your fingers?
4. Do you experience orgasm with just penetration? Does your partner? Do you have friends that struggle to orgasm during PIV sex?
5. Is this topic something you’ve ever put any thought into, or is it all new to you? Are you educated about female anatomy? Can you locate the clitoris? Do you regularly communicate to find out how your partner likes to be stimulated?
6. Do you think societies changing attitudes towards gender and sexuality will ultimately help this issue in the long term? How is it that women who sleep with women are more able to orgasm than those who sleep with only men?
7. Write a fiction story about inability to orgasm during PIV sex. Or maybe discuss a situation where the woman does orgasm but for the first time. What got her there?
8.Or perhaps write about how you think society needs to change for this problem to go away and for everyone to experience orgasms no matter their gender.
If you don’t have a blog, 4Thoughts is happy to host your post/images. So get in touch here…
I hope you enjoy writing about this week’s prompts. Zara…
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